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Objective Observer
Weekly newsletter from the Objective Observatory offers a pithy insight into the inner workings of Anguillian Society.
All content is (c) 1993-2006 by RK Publications and reflects the views of the author.
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Our Staff Ethicist has agitated for this week’s podium, and has it. The subject is Ethical Action, in the large and in the small. Those who follow the U.S. political scene (and we do, we do), have noted the effect of the Iraq invasion, and the subsequent botched occupation, on the Bush Administration’s polls. Yet, curiously, although the botch is becoming widely appreciated, we hear almost nothing about whether the invasion was ethical. Similarly, we had originally planned to discuss drivers’ behavior on Anguilla roads this week, a subject loudly debated by everyone who drives here (as everywhere). Yet, curiously, the real question about driving is not manners, and all drivers condemn what the other drivers are doing as bad manners, but whether bad driving is ethical; hence, the Ethicist has the mike. We start with the simplest of all first principles: You must not behave so as to harm others.
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Despite the laughable spectacle of U.S. Senators pretending to question job applicants (they don’t question, they bloviate), there remains unused the keen blade of cross-examination to reveal truth. To explore this almost-lost art, we turn the microphone over to our distinguished Senior Counsel. The discussion will examine: (1) technique; (2) evasions, and (3) the use of that fine old Latin slogan falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus (false in one thing, false in all). The subject is highly appropriate this year, what with Court nominations and many investigations, and specially appropriate this very day, because the U.S. House of Representatives spent last night in convulsions caused by the call from Rep. Murtha, a grizzled hawk and a Democrat, for troop withdrawals from Iraq. The debate – or name-calling – needed some classier techniques.
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Our world would be a less joyous place if it were not for Pat Robertson, whose odd views of correct heavenly behavior always delight. We take great pleasure this week in once more presenting him with the Jerry Falwell God Damn Fool (JFGDF) award. Pat's latest was to declare that Dover, PA, should expect a heaven-sent disaster for voting out a school board that had required the teaching of Intelligent Design. Pat said that after the disaster the stricken townies could pray in vain to Darwin. As usual, one has to be amazed by the way Pat can find a message from the Prince of Peace to murder or destroy, and also by his ferocity when confronted by anyone who thinks. He would be a shoo-in for Idiot of the Year if the field were not so crowded.
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Hooray! Today is vent day for the entire Staff. If you want happy smiles and applause for Government work, look elsewhere (but come back next week, Readers). We might as well start with Iraq. All the defenders of the Iraq invasion have been heard saying that after all the Democrats voted for the war (true), and everyone in the world believed Iraq had those atom bombs. Well, this makes the OO mad, since before – the word is before – the invasion, this column pointed out that UN inspectors were running all over the blighted place, that the inspectors were being advised by the CIA and the Brits, and that they couldn’t find a shred of fissile material. Readers, in science truth is tested by experiment, and this was an experiment proving that the Intel was, what’s the polite word, twaddle. That’s it, twaddle. And we told you so. The conclusion is that the OO should either replace Karl Rove, or Cheney. Or just maybe...?
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A warning note, Readers: In the bosom of the OO Staff, to stimulate debate and thought, it is permitted to advance any proposition, whether shocking or not. In today’s column, we follow that practice. Do not be offended, we are thinking, an activity disfavored in political circles everywhere. We start by (1) examining the costs of the fancy medical procedures that careful doctors regularly perform, (2) totting up the annual costs of a list of prescription drugs, (3) totting up the costs for extreme medical attentions, then (4) asking whether there should be any personal responsibility for taking risks, and (5) asking if the very best medical care for everybody, all the time, is affordable, and, last (6) examining the hard market answers to questions (4) and (5). Do not be offended; think.
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In the course of fighting back from the States (over the strong resistance of unnamed airline, initials AA), our Staff held a long series of meetings, with subjects ranging widely – perhaps over-widely. Some of the results were striking. Take sex, and the weird Far Right attitude toward it. You Readers well know that the President has adapted the Far Right theology opposing use of to-be-discarded fertilized eggs to provide stem cells for medical research. You are also aware of the objections to providing condoms to prevent AIDS, because it is better to have people die in lengthy agony than have sex. And then, the head of the FDA refused to approve sale of the Morning After pill, found safe by the FDA scientists, on the ground it might (gasp) encourage youthful sex. The stories are that the White House told him to reject the pill (no sex if you’re young). Then, the House just voted to deny Viagra to Medicaid patients (no sex if you’re old). We could continue on, but the common theme is that the Far Right hates sex. Our Staff has a solution. Paragraph.
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Despite the best efforts of an airline, nameless here but with initials “AA”, to prevent return from Atlanta and extreme deprivation of food by same, the OO and Staff have returned to sanctuary. We begin by disposing quickly of the title above: we were in Atlanta, in high Republican company, but, you know what? – the approval rating of the current U.S. Administration has dropped sharply. Further, the far Evangelical Right wasn’t visible, although the no-tax Right was. At a splendid dinner in a home fully worth display in House Beautiful, nobody, but nobody, opposed the personal right of voluntary euthanasia (asking a doctor to turn off the lights). This is progress, is it not? Meanwhile, Atlanta was, as always, well mannered, well-fed, and almost choked by traffic. In the part called Buckhead where the Objective Observatory crowd likes to stay, huge luxury SUVs abound, fine restaurants tempt, and stores are full of all kinds of stuff. The simple Anguillian is dazzled.
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You can't avoid it, Readers, you are ordered to think about U.S. taxes. Our Staff Revered Investment Guru (the R.I. G.) has the floor. In the States, the current administration, nominally Republican, is on the Argentina no-sweat political deficit diet: spending up a lot, lower taxes a lot. What with the Katrina disaster, the botch in Iraq, and the normal Congressional pork picnic, there is actually talk of needing some tax revenue. Shocking! We must start with the basic differences between earning a salary and making money on assets owned. On your salary, you pay income tax as you earn. But, if you make money by investing in stocks, business, land, or oil wells, it doesn't work that way. For investments, the rule is: you only owe a tax (a "Capital Gains" tax) when and if you sell. There is no "Taxable Event" until and unless you sell. Is that clear? Bill Gates may own billions in Microsoft stock for which he paid a hundredth of a penny, but he pays no taxes on his gain, not a cent, until he sells stock. Also, when investing, you can set off investment losses against gains. Onward.
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Do not despair, Studious Readers, the promised OO on Taxes will indeed appear next week. Our Revered Investment Guru (the R.I.G.) is assigned to the duty, but was too busy profiting from the Gulf hurricane disasters to complete work this week. Meanwhile, we consider the topic of Looting, in its twin aspects of high-class political looting and ordinary low-class New Orleans looting. If we offend any in this pure scientific quest, that’s tough. We start with the popular quiz, and ask, what (and why) is the Ketchikan- Gravina Island bridge? The what you may know, for it is the now famous U.S. Congressional pork project costing $223 million connecting Ketchikan Alaska to Gravina Island across the Tongass Narrows (Tongass Narrows is geographical, not an Administration thinking affliction). It is true, as you have read, that Gravina has a minimal population of 50 or so families, and that makes the bridge sound wasteful. In fact, though, the island is where the Ketchikan airport is. The official State website makes clear the critical need.
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Before going any deeper into the subject, we want Readers to know that we are firmly and irrevocably in favor of Thinking, despite the neglect of this healthful exercise at local, state, and Federal (definitely) Government. Indeed, our Political Seer was watching the Senate hearings on the nomination of Roberts, J. to be Roberts, Chief Justice. All Senators gave long boring statements, irrelevant to the issue of confirmation, Several disgraced themselves as noisy blatherers, but the candidate shone. That man is smart. On the recommendation of our Seer, we adopt his prediction of a strong confirmation vote, and we endorse the nominee ourselves. Now, will our Readers who attack us as “Liberal” please understand that calling someone a name is not argument – and BTW (By The Way, e-mailese), being “liberal” is not the same as being wrong. The word is actually a nice one.
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Break [OO #611]
We’ll just start with a reply to a Reader who didn’t like last week’s sour comments on City, State and federal incompetency as demonstrated in the New Orleans disaster. We respect the Reader’s right to disagree with our view of the Big Botch in Iraq and the Big Botch in Louisiana. [Well, actually, we don’t respect his intemperate dismissal of our rather acute analysis, and our right-on comments on bureaucracy. But, one is supposed to say that one respects someone trashing oneself, even if one doesn’t. Is that too many uses of “one”?] Anyway, Reader, you are wrong. The head of FEMA is a political appointee with no experience, so are his assistants, the Mayor of New Orleans is an ineffective whiner with no sense, and we have our doubts about the local Governors, too. We were, as usual, dead right.
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As Faithful Readers know, our Staff here is not a cheering section for bureaucracies, either U.S., International, or local to Anguilla. We have been merciless in trashing the total botch of the Iraq invasion, and the failure of the verbose but incompetent Pentagon and Administration managers (if that is the word for them). This week, though, while frozen to the TV screen and the terrible tales from New Orleans there unfolding, we saw pervasive incompetency everywhere. The stupidities stretched from the lowest local levels up to the States and of course the supposedly revamped National crisis management and the over- vacationed President. You couldn't believe what you saw. Our vocabulary failed, but thanks to The Economist, we have a new word: Ready? The word is "Aischrolatreia". It is right there in the Webster's Unabridged, and it means "Worship of filth; cult of the obscene". Nothing else fits so well.
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The entire Staff was smiling, and met for a congratulatory glass of Jim Beam Black Label (the bourbon of choice here). The occasion was the opportunity to issue the JFGDF [Jerry Falwell God Damn Fool] award for the first time in many months. This award is not lightly given, and today's recipient is the Reverend Pat Robertson, another player in the lucrative TV preacher field. You Readers, always attentive to major news, probably saw Pat saying that the United States should "take out" the Venezuelan chief. It is somewhat startling to hear a Reverend ignore the teachings of love and forgiveness and call for an assassination. Our Research Staff rushed to the concordance [fine word] at the rear of the Bible, but did not find any reference to Jesus teaching when unsuitable political leaders should be offed. The religious right, which would have been much happier fighting perilous stem cells, was much confused, and was heard to say that Pat was "getting on". He sure is, and it's about time to get him off, too.
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It is a day of high celebration at the Objective Observatory. First of all, the OO’s close associate, the U.S. Consular Warden for Anguilla, has received a handsome Certificate for his 12-plus years of service to the Expat community. Second, the September issue of the Sharper Image catalog has arrived. Page 16 is entirely devoted to offering items called HugOO™ pillows– either the HugOO™ Comfort Pillow, the HugOO™ Heart Pillow, or best of all (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) the HugOO™ Body Pillow (on sale at $39.95 and worth every cent, ladies).
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Last week’s serious suggestions for conducting U.S. foreign policy with real intelligence (that is, brains) met with silence from our throngs of Readers, even those who delight in calling The OO that awful adjective “Liberal”. [Query: is being smart being “Liberal”?] We take it that even the hawks are getting their feathers a bit bedraggled by the Iraq mess. Therefore, we shall have a column reporting on the state of things Anguillian. As Readers know, we don’t have crises here. Life is slower: new roads are discussed for, say a dozen years or more before they appear – but, we just got a dandy near the Objective Observatory. Even the rise in oil prices isn’t very threatening here, since the longest drive you can take is 13 miles or so. Yet, there are some clouds gathering.
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Today, a serious suggestion. Readers, and even the mass of American citizens, are beginning to realize that the mess – make that morass – in Iraq grows worse. Little help is available from what is called Counter "Intelligence" since the CIA, was, and we quote, "Dead wrong" in its pre-invasion assessment of Iraq. Military "Intelligence" has proved a similar oxymoron. The President's award of a medal to the former CIA chief has proved no help, nor have his expressions of faith in Rummy, the Defense Secretary who presides over the mess. So, we propose today what worked well in World War II.
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The exhausted OO and the entire Staff have returned, with some difficulty, to the safe haven of Anguilla, where the only real threats are hurricanes and the depredations of the Water Department. We offer you, Innocent Readers, the following advice: Stay Home! The combination of ultra-low airline fares, bankrupt airlines, and the total incompetence of airline and airport management results in a travel experience closely modeled on the Abu Ghraib model, though with less nakedness. As usual, where there is an need for advice, we stand ready to provide it, but first, a modicum of complaint.
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The London Underground bombings occasion a change of announced subject. As our Constant Readers know, we hold little or no regard for the so-called “Intelligence” agencies that burped up so much completely wrong information from Iraq. We do suggest, though, that intelligence in the good old sense of smarts could assist in dealing with terrorists. Some suggestions follow, a few with caveats from our Staff Ethicist, who, alas, spends many days deeply depressed, both by the actions of the crazies and the stupidity of U.S. Government reaction.
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Despite the title, we shall begin with a few words from our Senior Counsel. This week, Justice O’Connor announced she was leaving the U.S. Supreme Court, raising the question of what makes a good – or a great – judge. Also, there was a big fuss about the two reporters threatened with jail for refusing to say what source told them that Valerie Plame, the wife of a fellow disliked by the Bush people, was a CIA agent (the outing of such an agent is a crime). Take the second issue first.
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In a curious but depressing way, this seems to be a time for terminations. In Washington, notice has been taken that the polls show that Americans want to get out of Iraq, and soon. In Europe, the French and the Dutch gave a cold shoulder to the bright dream of a bigger and bigger Europe. And, in Anguilla, as we have noted before, the real estate boom is spelling the end of a simpler and uncomplicated island. In business, the airlines of the world are going bankrupt and dying, and the largest U.S. automobile makers are sickening. Reasons for each manifestation are fairly clear, and will be concisely and bluntly explained below. First though, we need a few vital distinctions.
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