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Objective Observer
Weekly newsletter from the Objective Observatory offers a pithy insight into the inner workings of Anguillian Society.
All content is (c) 1993-2006 by RK Publications and reflects the views of the author.
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You have seen, and our Staff Ethicist has seen, far too many reports of inhumanity, cruelty, and unethical behavior of all sorts. Yet, the recent re-appearance of Dr. Kevorkian from jail raises old and painful ethical questions. The Ethicist believes the first test of any restriction on someone else's behavior ought to be whether the behavior hurts the restricter. So, when we read this week that some religious crazies in Gaza threaten to cut the throats of women TV newscasters if they persist in not covering their hair (and perhaps faces), the judgment is the crazies are crazy and evil, despite their claims they are serving a higher will. The same judgment is passed on suicide bombers, who rejoice in killing the innocent. The aging Dr. Kevorkian as he appeared on TV raises the question whether his imprisonment was ethical (we'll assme it was in accord with local law).
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A common feature of political ranting, found everywhere in the world, is the over-use of loudly applied labels stuck to the opposition. A most curious feature of this labeling, noted by our acute Chief Proofreader, is that the labels usually are not just meaningless, but in fact counter-factual, a polite word for false. A quite obvious example from current U.S. White House labeling is that anyone who wants to get out of Iraq "Doesn't support the troops". Now, think about this label: those who want the troops out of Iraq don't want 100 or so of them killed every month, and another thousand a month wounded. [Note: this sort of political discourse pays no attention to the tens of thousands of Iraqis killed, or to the four million displaced.] Well now, logically, isn't it supportive of the troops well-being to want them out of harm's way, as the saying goes? Is sending soldiers to be killed off "support"?
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The OO is the son of a University of Chicago Professor, and indeed attended the school for 21 years (they had a kindergarten). So, it was with a great flood of delight that he read the current U of C Chronicle and discovered that the John Templeton Foundation had made a $3 million grant to the University to establish a "Research Initiative on the Nature and Benefits of Wisdom". Resounding applause. The story says that one of the Chief Investigators believes "A well-respected science of wisdom could provide great potential for informing important political, business, and personal decisions." Right on, Professor. And, er, could you please start with Washington where the supply of wisdom has been noticeably deficient for these many years. [We include all three branches of Government, not to mention both political parties.]
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This week in Washington we had both: (1) a continued partisan fight over continuing funding for the Iraq fiasco; and (2) an unexpected compromise bill in the Senate dealing with the most difficult subject of illegal immigrants. But, no action yet. This week in Anguilla, we had a lot of official dismay over the current crime wave. But, no action yet. This week in Iraq, the mess continued, with no signs of any compromises by anybody. This week in Gaza, which you would think had enough troubles for any miserable patch of territory, they decided to shoot each other. But, no progress at all. Our Staff here decided to think about why compromise is often praised but little achieved. Is there no way to tell when compromise can be reached?
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Patient and forgiving Readers, the OO begs your indulgence; today's column is about the OO's all but unique experience. Many years ago, in 1973, the OO, after carefully observing the workings of the giant U.S. Government, and similar workings of corporations and local governments, wrote a book. The Title was The Institutional Imperative, and it laid out, carefully and rigorously, the Laws that govern institutional behavior – any institution, private or public. The book was well reviewed except by one institution that didn't like to be treated as one. It was issued in paperback, but by now, of course is out of print. Its teachings had some enthusiastic supporters. Fast forward the not inconsiderable length of time to 2007. An organization wants to re-publish The II, and your humble OO has been glued to the computer, using a scan of the book and correcting scanning errors so the text is ready for reprint. A picky job, until a revelation came.
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Nothing amuses more than catching a hypocrite committing a sin he loudly denounces. Luckily, in Washington, DC the hypocrisy supply never fails. The latest hypo is an Assistant Secretary of State in charge of fighting AIDS, who fought distribution of condoms (could encourage sex!) and who advocated abstinence. Happily, a Washington lady appropriately named Palfrey kept a list of those who called her .. er ... "Escort Service" and had girls sent to them. [Note: a Palfrey is "a saddle horse particularly suitable for a woman". Cute, but you knew that.] The hapless Ass't Sec. said he was only calling for a massage (sure he was) but he resigned. Previously we had that Congressman who hit on the Pages, and then there was that guy heading a big group of evangelicals, who called a man for what he said was... surprise! ... just a massage. And before that the extra-plump Republican now on CNN, who turned out to be a multi-million dollar gambler when he wasn't preaching and writing about morality. The list goes on. At least Bill Clinton, not forgiven by our Staff for his Monica escapade, never lectured about sex.
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It hasn't been a cheery week, either on not-so-tranquil Anguilla, or in all-but-collapsed Iraq, or in Washington, where the utterly stubborn President and the not-so-smart Democrats are staring each other down. The news from Anguilla is more crime, and now a batch of fake US$100 bills circulating. [Grocery stores here refuse the big bills.] Iraq seems to be broken, with the "Progress" of the surge amounting to as many as 180 Iraqis a day blown up on the street. And then, in DC, the Dems have, stupidly, passed a military funding bill which includes a spinach and a dairy subsidy, along with a timetable for departing Iraq. The President, whose old pals are under withering fire from all compass points, say he will veto the bill and then attack the Dems for not supporting the troops, as if it supports the troops to get them killed by various Iraqi crazies. The question in the U.S. is: don't we deserve better from our Government?
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As you Faithful Readers know, our political and moral positions in this column are the result of intense debate among the Staff. When we reach a position, we state it with force. Today, though, we use the unique insights available in Anguilla to deal with a subject in a conciliatory – yes, a compromising mode. All Readers know that in the United States the subject of free access to guns is a "hot button" item. Opinions are held strongly, and they differ from State to State – gun control in Texas is political death, while in New York it is largely endorsed. Because guns are so freely available in the U.S., they are more and more circulating in Anguilla, and robberies and murders with guns are more and more frequent here. Supposedly, you need a permit to own a gun in Anguilla, but the easy availability to the North makes control indeed difficult, and the police can't cope. So, perhaps we can reach a meeting of minds today about what to do about AXA crime, starting with the assumption that guns will be owned by the gangs here. We have an idea.
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This week's topic on all the news shows and at our Staff meetings was the sudden fall of a talk show babbler named Don Imus, who casually and vulgarly insulted the Rutgers women's basketball team (as "Nappy-headed Hos"). There were loud outcries, apologies, a withdrawal of big corporate advertisers, and first a suspension and then the firing of Imus. We see many illuminating points here. For those who have long lives and long memories, it is wonderful and joyous that big broadcasters and big sponsors would act so fast and so properly. It wasn't so long ago that this sort of racist babble was standard Southern candidate talk. It's progress! Rejoice! But, keep thinking.
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Anguilla, of course of course, is right up to date with the rest of what is called the Civilized World. This includes the universal availability of cell phones. Everybody here (except the OO and Staff) has one – or more – and uses it constantly. Look at the traffic: every driver is babbling away on the cell. Stand outside the Post Office: half the pedestrians are chatting away. Go into Lake's or another of Anguilla's fine grocery stores. The shoppers are on the phone while they stare at the rows of cereal boxes or – if it is Lake's – the incredible assortment of small toasts from every country in the world. We tell you, Readers, the proportion of boxes of round, square, thin, thick, plain and flavo[u]red breads per capita at Lake's is unequaled in any world capital. Why, we have no idea, nor do we have any idea what the dickens everybody is talking about on the phone. We have stood attentively on aisle six and listened to the shoppers' ends of conversations, and believe us, there is no content discernible. In contrast, what the students are saying is clearly the same all over the world, that is, the many intricacies of school relationships. But what is there about Bulgarian crispbread worth so much earnest discussion?
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As Faithful Readers know, the OO and the entire Staff are humble, most humble, despite their record of being right, dead right, on most important subjects. Even our colleague the Revered Investment Guru [The R.I.G.] calls himself "Revered" solely to allow his Students to distinguish him from other, less revered teachers. All that being said, today we present to you a political proposal that can only be termed Brilliant, or a Brilliancy, and so it is titled. Truth is important. The idea is proposed for Barack Obama, our candidate for the U.S. Election just around the corner (or so one would think). He is our candidate because he is very intelligent. We think the contrast will be refreshing.
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As Readers fond of trivia know, Chung Ling Soo was the stage name of William Robinson, a magician whose famous act was to have audience members mark bullets, and then have a gun fired at him, "catching" the marked bullets with his teeth. Alas, on March 23, 1918, when the gun was fired, it actually shot him dead. [Date courtesy of our History Channel calendar.] What is the relevance? Well, it reminds us of the Iraq war and the behavior of one Dick Cheney, who seems to be playing Chung Ling Soo. An article in The Economist asks the question why Cheney devoted so much time and energy to destroying Joseph Wilson, who said, rightly, that Saddam was not buying uranium from Niger. Why was Cheney so "obsessed"? Did he know the administration was lying about WMDs? No, says the author, he seemed to really think Saddam was a nuclear possessor and was, well, shot with his fake gun.
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It's the word of the week, not at your butcher's, but on Wall Street. For the innocent, a loan is "Subprime" when the borrower is poor and is going to have difficulty paying it off. Such loans carry high interest, reflecting lender's risk. Thus, the poorest borrowers get socked the hardest – but that's life, isn't it? The default rate on these loans is rising, and at least one lender's stock is suspended. Just why Congress needs to meddle is not clear, since the lenders gambled, didn't they? Nevertheless, Subprime is all over the financial pages, and is called an infection that may spread. The OO and Senior Staff, just back from super-thriving Atlanta, wish to report on other examples of Subprimacy.
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Those Readers of either a considerable age or a good knowledge of history know about the Manhattan Project, the great gathering of scientists that created the atomic bomb. Here at the Objective Observatory, the benefits that have flowed from our similar Staff system have convinced us that the world needs similar projects. Our first modest proposal calls on the electronic wizards to gather and develop what we call an "ANS Control" for our TVs and the internet. The reference is of course to the violent eruption of stories about the late Anna Nicole Smith, famous for her large and often-exposed boobs and her marriage to an octogenarian billionaire.
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The new U.S. Secretary of Defense fired two high officers for failing to take care of sick soldiers. While thoroughly admirable and almost unheard-of in the Bush Administration, this cast our weekly Staff meeting into chaos. Instead of reviewing our many projects in progress, every Staff member was inspired to propose simple actions that would plainly improve aspects of Government, business, or private life. These ran the gamut from forcibly retiring VP Cheney in the U.S. to abolishing useless bureaucratic jobs on Anguilla. Readers' responses to last week's modest suggestion that pills be bottled in lots of 90 – the Medicare allotment – also stimulated a cornucopia of ideas, to mangle a metaphor.
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If you are following the far-off U.S. 2008 Presidential race, you know Barack Obama long ago said going into Iraq was wrong, and would be a mess. He was – and is – smart. Now, the OO said the same thing, in detail. This has led many Readers to ask whether the OO is about to announce his candidacy. Note: while the OO is living in Anguilla, he remains eligible for office. Also note: during this winter season, we are not sharing the Stateside pain. Not feeling pain is no good for a candidate. In any event, thank you, but the OO will not think about, file for exploratory Committee, or run. He does, however, volunteer to assist the proper candidate in keeping out of trouble, and thinking. As you know, no thinking has gone on in the White House for six years, so it's about time.
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You have heard many warnings in this space, almost all prescient and correct. Today, we sound the alarm for the inability of anyone having knowledge of soft- or hard- ware to explain how to use the same. This is a world wide problem. You are, of course, familiar with the impenetrable jargon used by the authors of any computer software when attempting to instruct you in the use of their latest and complex programs. For ordinary household equipment, though, it was humanly possible to read the manual that came with the vacuum cleaner or the TV, and proceed to run the darn thing. No longer.
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Readers, our subject today is depressing, difficult, and ethically complex. You may be offended by the frank opinions of our Staff Ethicist and the even harsher views of The OO as our chief political commentator, and the R.I.G., who thinks too much about money. If too shocked, you are permitted to stop here and go back to your TV, or even – gasp – read a book. Here is the problem we address this week: how to pay for the constantly growing cost of medical care for a population that is living longer, and in some cases perhaps longer than they wish. We speak bluntly.
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Sometimes, the news is as satisfying as it can get. The news this morning is that the idiot Charles “Cully” Stimson, the (get this title) Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Detainee Affairs, has resigned. This dolt is the guy who said that all big corporations should fire any law firms that had people working (free) to represent so-called “Detainees” held without trial by Cully-boy and his Guantanamo crowd. Since there was a big stink about his stupid remarks, he’s gone. We suggest he be held at Gitmo without trial or charge or lawyer. Which reminds us that at dinner on Anguilla recently (we dine a lot), a smart Englishman asked The OO why America, formerly so proud of its Bill of Rights and its Constitution, was violating both so regularly. The answer to that also came this week in the form of a new National Intelligence estimate, or NIE.
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We had promised you an OO column about medical care, costs and insurance. It won’t happen today, for two reasons: (1) plain speaking offends many, and (2) trivial matters have intervened. Here at the Objective Observatory, despite our remote seaside location, we are deluged with trivia. For example, trivia question: who is the Acting President of Turkmenistan? [NB: there is no reason that you should know.] Answer: Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov (or you may prefer the spelling Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhammedow). He succeeds the dead and bad Saparmurat Niyazov. You also get bad Presidents with much shorter names.
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