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Objective Observer
Weekly newsletter from the Objective Observatory offers a pithy insight into the inner workings of Anguillian Society.
All content is (c) 1993-2006 by RK Publications and reflects the views of the author.
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Since 1993, a resident Expat here styled The Objective Observer or The OO has written a weekly column on a great many varied subjects, starting of course with life, manners and behavior on Anguilla. U.S. politics and politicians are frequently dealt with quite harshly, with no punches pulled about the Iraq Fiasco. [By the way, The OO's Iraq predictions have been right on the money.] Anguilla politics are often discussed, with some punches softened.
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Every week, the political polls hit the news, and we see that the American public declares itself most unhappy with those in charge in Washington. This displeasure ranges from President Bush, who is getting ever-bigger numbers as the worst American president ever, to the Congress, which is viewed as do-nothing,. Our Staff goes with the flow, although some among them dissent on certain points. The Ethicist, for one, votes for W as worst because of Guantanamo, waterboarding, and Iraq, while the Senior Counsel, more cautious, says he does not know enough about Millard Fillmore. The OO, who hung around Washington for decades, has concluded that the real problem is that almost no one seems able to make any decisions, or, having come to a conclusion, simply will not back belief by action.
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The OO, the entire Staff, and a small transparent ovoid have returned to tranquil (relatively) Anguilla from the giant Atlanta metrocomplex. The purpose of the trip was to insert the ovoid into the OO’s right eye, and the result was remarkable – viz (stands for videlicet, namely): immediate corrected 20/25 sight. Modern medicine is remarkable. The other eye gets done in January, since no one without a private jet would travel from AXA to ATL and back during the year-end holidays. American Airlines insists on routing all Anguilla flights via San (ugh!) Juan, where the trip is no fun. Indeed, reports are that all U.S. airports are overcrowded, flights stuffed and delayed, and airways dangerous.
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Readers, today The OO analyzes the constant fight between those who declare that Government is bad and private business is good, and those who declare that business is greedy and only benevolent public efforts can provide what we need. Not to spoil the tension, but the truth is that both public and private organizations suffer from the same diseases of bureaucracy. Large or small, public or private, the same bureaucratic diseases infect any organization that is poorly run. This is true in the U.S., on Anguilla, in Europe, and indeed everywhere. The key problem in any organization is that the workers see their own assignments as the purpose of their work, and do not see their task as carrying out the purpose of the organization, be it company, department, or indeed even a do-good no-profit.
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Those Readers who waited patiently by their computers all this weekend, thirsty for their OO column, were disappointed at the delay. Here’s what happened. Over the years, the OO has been taking more and more pills for blood pressure, all under skilled medical advice, and with good success. But, it is always possible to overdo a good thing. Apparently, too much is too much, and the BP (as we familiarly call it) fell too low. Result, the OO stood up suddenly and then, woozy, fell to the ground, creating a small compression fracture of the right trochanter [please note the classy medical term.] This results in about six weeks of waiting for mending, hobbling around the Observatory with a walker [French name is “ambulatoire”, for your trivia file], no driving, and dependency on friends on island for shopping, driving about, and delivery of dinners.
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The U.S. political scene (unlike the quiet Anguilla political scene) has become almost intolerably silly. It is enough to make the usually tolerant OO “Clunch”, our Forgotten English Calendar’s Friday word. Clunch is said to mean “Abrupt in speech and irritable”, at least in North Lincolnshire. Look around: a GOP Senator who produced the famous $400 million “Bridge to Nowhere” seems to be being wiretapped by the FBI for taking gifts from an oil type. The Dem Representative who stashed $90 thou or so in his freezer from a sting is still around the Capitol, somehow neither indicted nor ethically investigated. The sex scene is hot in Washington (as it often is) with everything from a Dem who patronized the DC Madam to a GOP Senator doing strange things in the airport men’s room. And as for the business of the Nation, forget about it, since the 2008 election is only 13 months-plus away, and the States are fighting to see who can hold the firstest primary. Who needed this?
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Before beginning today, we wish to announce an addition to our distinguished Staff. The political season is well underway in the States, but so far we have seen few if any notable slogans. So, we have appointed a Staff Sloganeer. His claim to fame is the authorship of that notable button of an unshaven Nixon with the slogan “Would you buy a used car from this man?” We expect similar productions and will print some from time to time. Contributions from Readers will be welcomed, and anonymity preserved if published. So. Today’s subject is the truly miserable state of political debate in the U.S. it ain’t great in Anguilla either, but our policy is not to say such things.
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Our Staff Ethicist has waited patiently for his time to speak, and today, in the middle of a most peculiar non-hurricane Hurricane Season, he has the microphone. He starts with a common and soluble social problem: smoking. All doctors now agree that smoking is bad for you, giving the smoker cancer and heart problems, and clearly shortening the life span. More, those exposed to a smoker's smoke are also harmed. First off, there is no room for debate that it is wrong to smoke when you are harming those who are nearby and innocently breathing your fatal fumes. So far, it is simple, and more and more in the U.S. at least, it is forbidden to smoke in public places. But there are more problems. Is it morally right to smoke alone, thus in a real way taking part of your own life? Is it right to be in the business of selling tobacco, selling poison? Is it right to own a tobacco stock? And then, is it right to give free but costly Government medical care to a smoker who has caused his own condition? Well?
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The Ides of September, and many weighty events, are upon us. School terms are opening, Senators are being caught in Men's Rooms, the Anguilla season is definitely over – though the weather is splendid for hurricane season – and the OO's desk is cluttered to an extreme. So, we begin by clearing away in preparation for fall politics, reports on the Middle East fiasco, or fiascoes, and the distastefully early beginning of the U.S. Primaries. Warm up with this quiz, Readers:
The U.S. National Intelligence Estimate says: "_____'s political leaders are unable to govern effectively." The blank refers to;
(a) The highly incompetent Mayor of New Orleans and the State officials of Louisiana, working with the equally inept Federal supposed saviors.
(b) Iraq.
(c) The U.S. Congress and the Pres.
(d) All of the above.
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In crowds and yes, in politics (which is crowd manipulation), there is a universal and dangerous tendency to oversimplification. The simple slogan – "Stay the course", for example – replaces the complexities of the real world. Politicians who dare to think and weigh alternatives are condemned as wishy-washy. The dumb prefer a three word slogan, and all over the world the dumb often prevail. Surely it is easier on the brains of those who prefer not to think, to just say three words than to think about difficult, complex, and uncertain results. We maintain a large and expensive Staff here at The Objective Observatory to think and examine alternatives. This appeals to most Readers, but we have a few who cannot stand any questioning of their favored leaders and their slogans, and they often send us indignant e-mails accusing us of being an instrument of the Devil or worse, the Democratic party. We deny either being in league with the devil because we question stupidity, or of being a tool of large or small-d democracy. Indeed, judging from the state of the world today, we do not believe that small-d democracy is workable in most countries. This seems to be true in spades in countries with four-letter names ending with "Q".
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Readers, Readers, has the thought come to you these troubled days that several of the problems we face are insoluble? Take the bloody mess in Iraq. Yes, smart people, including the OO Staff and Barack Obama, said it was a big mistake to invade. Now, the fine old Republican party is facing what looks like near obliteration in 2008, which is what they deserve, some say righteously. But then, what is the correct move now? We have no convenient time machine to go back and not invade. Yet, Iraq is already this swamp of sectarian hatreds, and if the U.S. troops leave, won't the Iraqis massacre each other? Already, there are two million escaped from Iraq, and another two million displaced, and some number in the several hundred thousand killed – and more blown up every day – so if the U.S. leaves won't the blood really flow? Probably, and the Dem candidates are frightened of the political blow-back of this, so most don't want to depart suddenly. But what benefit to depart slowly? We seem to have lost all the good chances to leave, or divide Iraq into warring semi-states. What to do? We have heard no good ideas, and little from the military except warnings that getting all the beat-up equipment and their pinball machines out will take another two years.
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It is certainly good for a sturdy U.S. citizen to live for some years on Anguilla. Slowly, slowly, the truth seeps in that not everything accepted as good and right in the U.S. is similarly accepted here, nor are manners the same at all, nor is business done the same way or for the same purposes. The OO often says that every Expat living on Anguilla is eccentric, a charge denied with some heat by compatriots. but, they are wrong. This is a place where an Expat not practicing a profession must find his own interests and fill his own hours. An example is The OO, who faithfully reports to you every week, because he likes to, not because he is is paid. Or take our Staff colleague the Revered Investment Guru, who is about to spend the next week in dawn-to-dusk instructing of two college students in risk/reward investing. Now, admit it – is that your idea of a tranquil retreat to a small Caribbean island? Admit it, it is not.
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Our ever-informative Forgotten English Calendar provides the title for today. To be "In the waniand" is to be in the time of the waning moon, which is unlucky. We are sorry to inform Readers that the U.S. Administration as well as the U.S. financial markets are clearly in the waniand. A copy of that fine English magazine The Economist arrived yesterday, and once again every page castigated the Administration for incompetence and stubbornness. That's not unusual (it's what Time and Newsweek say a lot), but it was, well, cast in surprisingly blunt and insulting terms. The pitiable U.S. Attorney General gave pitifully unconvincing testimony to the Senate and was called a perjurer – and if he isn't he gave a good imitation. Then, the generals in Iraq started talking about a two, four, or eight year residency in Iraq, which didn't go over well. And to top it off, the stock markets took fright at the rather, well, sloppy mortgage lending practices, several hedge funds collapsed (one cost the Harvard endowment over $300 million – Harvard!), and a mortgage bank went down. We have summoned our expert Staff to assist uneasy Readers.
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Life, even life on Anguilla, grows inexorably more complex. As the principal computer at The Objective Observatory aged, it was time for a fancy new one, with more memory, more storage, more everything. That's good, but what isn't good is that the new box comes with the new Microsoft Windows system, called "Vista". OK, OK, a new system, no use moaning for the good old Etruscan days, the Staff here has to learn how to use it. So, cleverly, a how-to book is ordered from Amazon.com. "Windows Vista Secrets" by Livingston and Thurrott duly arrives. It is large format, and runs 647 pages. List, $39.99, but less at good ol' Amazon. Well, this one tells us more than we want to know about making movies (we don't do that), but it's hard to know how to set up files and such. True, there's an appendix showing all sorts of symbols (spider, anybody?), but that's not what we need as innocents. OK, back to Amazon and look at the long list of Vista books. There is of course "Windows Vista for Dummies" but our Staff rule is not to buy any books calling us "Dummies" – we don't take no lip from publishers. So, we order "Windows Vista In A Nutshell" by one Preston Gralla. This is a rather fat nutshell, running 732 pages with five appendices. Again alas, it has all sorts of topics, but the index is largely useless. Pause while we go back to Amazon. Now here's a title: "Windows Vista Ultimate Bible" (Durham), list $34.99, Amazon sells for $23.09. Ordered. A thought strikes – pause while we check out our copy of the King James Bible. It's 987 pages (Old Testament) and 285 more (New Testament). Huge Concordance. Checked for "Windows Vista". No entry.
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The Staff here at the Objective Observer works well together. In some other and larger organizations, business seems to be conducted smoothly, and often profitably. Although the high officers of many businesses receive ridiculously large sums for their services, if they don't produce, in the course of time they are dismissed, often with the same ridiculous sums. But, they are sent away. Somehow, many Government bureaucracies in the U.S., and, yes, elsewhere (meaning Anguilla) just never seem to get it right, even when the Government is in the hands of a party that claims to be pro-capitalist efficiency. Politics of course prevents tossing out incompetent appointees such as Secretaries of Defense, and the Constitution of the U.S. does not permit mere incompetence from justifying the removal of a President, naming no names. And then, everywhere it is an enormous task to dismiss a civil servant, however non-civil and non-servile. In other words, if you are going to mess up, get a Government job.
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The OO and our on-Staff Senior Counsel have always thought both the U.S. tax system (if "system" is the right term) and the Anguilla tax "system" (same interjection) to be hilarious. Yes, they are funny, often intensely complex and always inexplicable. The latest Washington tax fuss has to do with the arcane subject of "Carried Interests". As you may know, if you are a hapless wage-earner in the U.S. you pay income tax. If you buy something like a building or a stock, that is a "Capital Asset" and if you sell it after a year, or longer, you have a "Long Term Capital Gain", which is blessed, and your tax is limited to 15% of the gain. If your sale takes place after only 11 months, you have a Short Term Capital Gain, which is evil, like under-age sex, and must pay higher ordinary income tax. The Bush Administration proudly got a Cap Gains tax reduction to 15%, as well as lowering the Income Tax rate on big incomes. These may expire, and the threat is called an attack on wealth or such by those threatened.
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Alert Readers are up to date on the crazy doctors who bungled their car bombings in the U.K. You noted that the culprits were Muslim doctors from the Middle East. This once more raises those tough questions about screening and searching international travelers. The attentive CNN interviewed an indignant British Muslim who was angry that such incidents led to suspicion of all Muslims. We have something sensible to say, and it may surprise those few Readers who think the OO Staff is wildly "Liberal". Our Staff view is that the idea of only random searches is stupid. Look you, we scoffed loudly at the Bush invasion of Iraq as punishment for the 9/11 bombings, when Iraq had no connection whatever. But really, Readers, it makes no more sense to demand the de-shoeing of the six year old girl from Little Rock and the 90-ish grandmother from Bangor. If there is a robbery by a six-foot man, we do not conduct a random search of five-foot women. We claim that random airport unshoeings of small girls is stupid, and we assert that it has never resulted in catching any terrorist tots.
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When you live on the island of Anguilla, you must be more self-reliant than in the effete big cities of the world. It is not easy here – it is almost impossible – to get someone to come and fix one of your modern (or for that matter, antique) devices so necessary to complex living. So, when your hardware or software is treating you badly, you must resort to the manual distributed to you some months or years ago. This is no fun at all, for several reasons. First, the manufacturer is not making any money from your troubles with old stuff, and has little incentive to assist you in your pain. Second, the usual tech-writer cannot write simple, comprehensible instructions to be understood by the usual reader. And third, the usual manual uses undefined terms constantly. If a fellow had to communicate with a girl the way a tech-writer does, they would never even get to the first date, much less reproduce.
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In social chit-chat, pills and pains are popular subjects, and since politicians love to be popular, they too talk about drugs, medical care, and a lot of other subjects they don't know much about. Among the OO Staff, pills are also a leading subject, and as usual, we have complaints. Start with a simple matter: the pill names. Surely you know that all drugs have two names in the United States: the trade name, say "Plavix"and the supposed chemical name ,"Clopidogrel". The trade-named drugs, if still under patent, are wildly expensive in the U.S., but when off-patent become quite cheap – after all, they are then just chemicals. On Anguilla, close to French St. Martin, you can take the ferry to buy French-named drugs, which of course also have a French chemical name. The hospital pharmacy here sells some off-patent drugs, cheap, but not a lot of the fancier patented drugs. Life is not always simple on Anguilla.
In France, and elsewhere, the citizens get drugs quite cheap, and in the States, if you are lucky enough to be over 65, they have added what is called Medicare Part D. The Part D procedures, like the U.S. tax laws, are wildly complex. To add to the complexity, and to avoid cries of "Socialized Medicine" everything under Part D is handled by several levels of public and private bureaucracy. The Feds of course register you under Part D and give you a card. You pay a flat fee for Part D "coverage", which is subtracted from your Social Security coverage. Then, you go to some organization (the OO uses AARP), which for a fee sells both supplemental Medicare coverage ("Part B") for procedures, and Part D Supplemental coverage, separately. But, AARP, a non-profit organization, hires United Health Care, another giant private "provider" to deal with druggists and generate computer records. The hapless over-65 patient then goes to a drugstore – Walgreens has it down pat – to actually buy the drugs, deal with United Health, and start the chain of computer records up to United and the Feds.
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Although it is almost always messy, the process of change is, you must admit, fascinating. Those who know and love Anguilla have long admired the local stern protection of the Anguillian way of doing things, in business, in governing, and in all aspects of human behavior. But, beware, change, and big change, is here. The engine of change is, of course, a great building boom, ranging from many giant projects to individual many-roomed villas, to condo projects, and all the rest. All the resources of the island are strained. The physical infrastructure – the roads, the piers, and all the rest, is creaking under the weight. That's obvious, but the social infrastructure also shows many signs of strain. Anguilla was a place where you could leave your door unlocked. No longer. We have had a crime wave, and though the worst criminals seem to have been collected, robberies continue. The resident Expats are upset, of course, and demand better policing. Like every boom, there is much work for all, and yes, more shiny fast new cars, which doesn't make the roads any safer.
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