0527 - AK-47

As Faithful Readers of the previous 526 OO columns know, we have some firm convictions here, and they have pretty stable over the years. One of these has been a strong belief that the free distribution of guns to any who want them is a bad idea. Another has been the certainty that allowing the sale of automatic weapons is close to governmental madness, if not criminal insanity. But, despite the current wave of sniper fire along the interstate in Ohio, we have had deeper thoughts. This evidence of new thought may surprise you, as it should.

Governor Dean, the new political kid on the Presidential block, has of course been squarely and completely right on the false and foolish invasion of Iraq. This man also claims to be in favor of the right to own a gun. That was somewhat surprising, so the entire Staff here was ordered to think about guns and gun control, each Staff member contributing any specialized insights available. The results of the rethinking were, yes, surprising.

First of all, it is clear that attitudes to guns vary from country (favor) to city (fear). Also, by and large men like guns (a very clear Freudian phallic significance, we believe), while women do not. And finally, we have long ago examined the legal arguments about guns. Your true U.S. gun nut always claims the U.S. Constitution gives him (usually him) the right to bear arms, any sort of arms at all, and the rest of the shot-at citizenry has to put up with the barrage. This is, as any lawyer knows, legal nonsense, and no court has ever so held. That’s not what the Second Amendment means, fellows.

All this being so, what about our re-thinking? Well, we are here in Anguilla, where the back roads are often dark, and sometimes houses are fairly far apart. Crime in Anguilla is, all agree, relatively rare, but it is also, all agree, increasing. Would it be a truly bad idea to allow a householder here to own a single gun after showing a clean criminal record and a stable life? One might sleep a little more soundly, and those living alone without the benefit of our large Staff might feel safer.

So, after reflection, we feel that we could tolerate the sale of guns under a careful permit system, one and only one to a customer. This does not mean we could ever favor the sale of automatic weapons, which must be banned in any civil society worth the name. It doe not mean that allowing guns to be carried about on the person, or to high schools, is a good idea, at all. It also does not endorse in the slightest the gun lobby’s successful lobbying against labeling bulk explosives with what are called “Taggants”. Taggants allow tracing of bomb ingredients, and there are no rational reasons not to require tagging, barring political kissing up to the gun lobby. Those are our slightly revised positions.

Meanwhile, despite multiple Spam Filters working, our computers are flooded with ridiculous offers by e-mail. To avoid the Spam Filters, the senders change their names constantly, and sometime their inventions are amusing. One that arrive this week claimed to be from “Conderrer P. Violently”. We hit the Delete key at once. But then came the thought that this person might actually exist. He may be trying to scrape a living in the dark world of porn, body part enlargement, ED, and herbal quackery. If you are out there, Mr. Violently, we have a Holiday message for you: shut up.

Next time: Seasonality [OO #528]

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