0536 - Puzzlement

Dammit! Dammit! We here had sworn a solemn oath to neither read nor watch any Michael Jackson news. Then, at the Superbowl, yet another Jackson hit the news like [... simile deleted]. She appeared with a dance group from the Pelvic Thrust School of Ballet, who committed a spectacle of high tackiness. Then, she arranged to expose her right boob. Well! Of course this released: (1) endless repeat clips; and (2) a flood of self-righteous professional Deplorers, among whom a complete and bearded ass named Brent Bozell was the most egregiously offensive. We, of course, believe that the sight of a naked female breast will at once cause all five-year olds to become sex fiends and destroy marriage, the institution. Meanwhile, if any TV programs need a good Deplorer, the OO is ready, waiting, and works cheap. For the same fee, he will deplore thong underwear.

Meanwhile, on the political scene, it seems that there is growing public recognition that the so-called “Intelligence” about Iraq’s non-existent Weapons of Mass Destruction was dead wrong, and that the possible risk was indeed hyped (U.S. usage) and sexed-up (British usage). In Washington, there was much scurrying about for cover. The most notable contribution came from one Rev. Pat Robertson, who preemptively revealed that God had told him that President Bush would be re-elected. Sadly, his source had not sent an early warning about no WMDs.

On the bad intelligence front, our Staff analysts believe the problem is the confusion between (a) Intelligence, and (b) Wisdom. Wisdom lies not only in what you know, but in a lively appreciation of what you do not know. As examples, both Dr. Condoleezza Rice and Dr. Howard Dean are plainly highly intelligent, but neither is wise, since each has demonstrated that they don’t know what they don’t know. Doctor Dean doesn’t recognize that there are certain ways the political game is played, not involving off-the-cuff remarks which may be honest and true, but aren’t politic. Dr. Rice is highly verbal, but never stopped to ask why, before the Iraq war, the UN inspectors could find nothing, although supplied with the best U.S. and British “Intelligence”. Judging from her latest remarks, she still can’t believe there is anything she doesn’t, or didn’t know. Not wise.

While word-eating is never pleasant, it would be better for hawks to say “We were wrong”, than to claim either that they didn’t say what they said, or that they haven’t yet been proved wrong, definitively and finally. But, since they have attacked the UN and badly damaged the reputation of the U.S., if they are in trouble, we won’t advise them. Their loss.

In a coming column, we will give our considered Staff view on the serious and lasting harm done by phony intelligence and hype. Today, we must pause to note the unfortunate naming of “Ricin”, a poison detected in Washington this week. From the name of the poison, our Staff Analysts deduce these were not major terror attacks. “Ricin” doesn’t have the right aura of threat, like, say, “Cyanide”, or “Saturated Fat”. To our ears, there might be a breakfast cereal named “Puffed Ricin”, but a terror-inducing poison, no way.

Finally today, we must note proposed New York legislation to allow restaurant diners to take home unfinished bottles of wine. As in so many other fields of human activity, this is not a problem in Anguilla. Island-wide, there is no recorded instance of any wine being left on the table at the conclusion of dinner.

Next time: Deficits [OO #537]

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