0543 - Chelation

Since Readers are well versed in science, we are sure you know what Chelation is (quoting Guru Net):

Chemistry. To combine (a metal ion) with a chemical compound to form a ring.
Medicine. To remove (a heavy metal, such as lead or mercury) from the bloodstream by means of a chelate ...

The trouble with science and medicine, of course, is that they are always offering some brilliant invention that is of no use whatever in one's current dire strait [there is a singular of “straits”, isn't there?]. Upon return from Atlanta to Anguilla, the Staff here has been immersed in throwing out old files, trying to fix dead computers, and watching the totally abysmal political commercials and the horrible news from the Iraq morass. What is needed, boffins [good English word] is some method of compressing the news that one does NOT wish to see again and replacing it with, say, a clip of Marlene Dietrich singing “See what the boys in the back room will have ...” [the OO's all time favorite movie scene]. Such electronic Chelation would be worth billions and a Nobel prize.

At the top of our Chelation list are any more explanations from the White House about the need not to have a 9/11 hearing, not to provide documents, not to allow the Commission time to finish up its work, or not to allow Condi Rice [to be distinguished from Uncle Ben's Rice] to testify. Look fellows, Dem or Rep as you may be, quite obviously, everybody screwed up. So admit it and let's move on already.

Which brings us to what passes for the news on TV. Now, friends and readers, there is only so much significant news in any 24 hours. The constant flation [GuruNet failed us here, insisting that there is no such word, and suggesting “fellation”, not at all what we meant], to continue, the constant flation of the insignificant to the hysterically important is wearing on the nerves, and foolish. Yes, it is a pity that a three year old has wandered off into the woods somewhere in Michigan, and yes, we are glad that Bambi's mother found him and brought him home, but give us a break.

Furthermore, political spinners, we think your oversimplification of complex issues is evident to any intelligent person. There are taxes and taxes, and not all are equal. We grant you that there are many bad guys in the world, and the regrettably still-extant Saddam is one, but that is not an excuse for the disastrous invasion of Iraq, or the failure of any sensible planning, diplomacy, or indeed thought. Stop over-simplifying! We are not among those who automatically think any idea peddled by the current gang in office is bad. Ideas are not tainted by association. We need ideas, and they should be turned over and examined closely, not spun into childish inanity.

So, if you are ready, here is our U.S. political brilliancy of the week. The American people, nay the world, are sick of this Presidential campaign. What we need is to have Kerry to sign up John McCain as Vice-president to be. The two warriors have their disagreements, and they should be admitted: democracy only works when differences are admitted, discussed, and – sometimes – resolved. Kerry and McCain agree on hating deficits and cleaning up politics. We're tired of the yapping partisans and the Bush policies and divisiveness. Move on to the Kerry-McCain fusion ticket, sweep all 50 States, and let's work together. Thank you for your kind attention.

Next time: BooShaa [OO #544]

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