0546 - ShrinkWrap

The Staff meeting this week was unusually acrimonious. Our Ethicist was insistent on discussing the assassinations of two successive Hamas leaders; he wanted a column considering why, or whether, killing a Chief Murderer should be questioned, when no one has any problem with shooting a terrorist trying to blow up a few dozen school children, or with a lot of “Collateral Damage” when bombing anyone we disapprove of. Is it only a permissible good thing to kill the innocent and not the guilty? Why are leaders preaching death not a fair target? Our Political Branch (recently strengthened) proposed denouncing a counter terrorism policy in the U.S. that does nothing about ten or more million illegal immigrants, while making 3-year olds take off their shoes when boarding a plane. Finally, our Circulation Manager noted that our Readers, while generally sympathetic to our views, are getting their fill of the incompetent mess in Iraq, and would like us to give it a rest, already. In the end, we decided on a non-political rant about modern packaging and magazine trash (the physical kind).

So, Readers, what is the purpose of packaging a product? Keeping it clean and attractive? Imparting information? Advertising? All of the above? Well, what is the purpose of the current tendency to pack stuff in impenetrable and un-openable hard shells of plastic? We're not just complaining about getting plastic cuts or broken nails, we're talking about having to go to the tool box to get the wire cutters in order to open the chitinous exoskeleton of, say, a battery charger. You need a hack saw, sometimes, because scissors won't do. And then, when you cut off the edge to get inside, the gadget is locked inside a formed plastic bubble that won't let go. Similarly, if you buy a DVD or a CD, just getting inside the box is a half-hour bank job. We saw a Heloise Hint recently that advised keeping a seam ripper handy when opening CDs. We are not sure what a seam ripper is, exactly, but assume it is some form of self-defense, like a Taser shock gun.

We do not exclude from this rant the consistently abysmal behavior of those running the San Juan Airport, vital to Anguilla connections to the world. Now that our airlines think a small pack of over-salty pretzels is sufficient food for a ten-hour flight, it is sometimes necessary to seek food at SJU. Abandon hope, all who land at San Juan. Daytimes, the food is both expensive and absolutely disgustingly inedible. Whenever the owning culprits decide to close up in the afternoon, you could starve to death. We are told all SJU concessions are owned by the same group. Pack a PBJ sandwich. Or, use a seam ripper.

Now, when we buy a magazine (and we buy plenty), we just want content. Instead, mags are arriving with all sorts of unwanted junk. First, take (please!) loose cards, called, we believe, “blow-ins”. Of three mag arrivals yesterday, each had four stiff cards bearing pleas to subscribe. Then, the magazine itself is full of what they call “Special Inserts” which run up the page count and have no news value at all. Rip out three such inserts in Forbes, and what's left is slim pickins. And then, there is the extra trash. Two mags this week had ads with those Post-It® stickers on them. Many others had thick and stiff cardboard pages as ads. Worse, there are increasing numbers of bound-in brochures for stuff we don't want. Is this any way to combat job outsourcing?

Next time: Commission [OO #547]

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