0584 - Challenge

The interruption to the smooth flow of our product is due to Loyal and Attentive Reader Ed, who e-mailed us:

“Congratulations! I know of no one else who could (or who would want to) write a column dealing, in the compass of maybe 600 words, with Social Security, Mickey Rooney's butt, Brillat Savarin, Caligula, Cheating Housewives, alchemy and the value of the Euro. OK, now give us one with fruit flies, the Rape of the Sabines, Jenna Bush, global warming, Brittany [sic] Spears' chances of winning the GOP Presidential nomination in 2012 and the Diet of Worms. I await with bated breath.”

Challenge accepted, Ed. Pass over that Lyre.

Twenty Twelve

In Twenty Twelve comes an election
Grave danger looms, says our projection.
Alarms set off our trained antenna –
Yet one more Bush (who rhymes with henna).
The GOP will be in clover,
A dream for master pol Carl Rove-r.

Should J. be chosen nominee,
The Dems will be in deepest hominy.
Like fruit flies – Drosophilidae –
They’ll perish with a weak outcry.
Like Sabine Women they are calling
For help – or else, defeat appalling.

Call for a taxi, take a jitney,
Seek hope; it lies in pert Ms. Britney.
Her butt, it wiggles as she squirms,
Like Luther at the Diet of Worms.
Rotating on her lower axis,
She leads the way to lower taxes.

And she’ll appeal to Red State rubes,
By showing off her perfect boobs.
Her shape’s so great, so firm in tush,
She’ll save you from the threat of Bush.
Global warming? Forget your fear.
Just keep your eyes on Britney’s rear.

So, Jenna? Britney? What’s the choice?
The voters answer with one voice:
“In two and zero zero four,
Won’t you come home, our dear Al Gore?”

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You want footnotes?
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Notes: The fruit fly D. Melanogaster is often used in genetic research. The Papal delegate who proposed the Edict of Worms was Girolamo Aleandro.

We return to the regular order of things next week. Erasmus will not be mentioned.

Next time: Spukhafte [OO #585]

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