0596 - Hollywood

With considerable difficulty, the OO and vital Staff return to tranquil Anguilla. What we learned from a trip to Hollywood and Atlanta is: (1) the airlines hate their passengers; (2) the airports are badly overloaded and designed wrong for all the inspections; (3) don't wear a sling when going through inspection or you will be strip-searched and beaten; and (4) bring food – you can't survive on a 3 cent bag of stale pretzels. The OO read an important book called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. The clearest of prose, and fascinating insight into our snap judgments. After being forced by American Eagle to take a boat in order to connect to any flights, and subjected to varied indignities, Gladwell's teaching explained all: it is just so simple -- the airlines (all going broke) hate us passengers.

Our sociological observations from Hollywood, Atlanta and the inevitable Miami airport are startling. In all three locales, the people doing the work speak Spanish. Neither the hotel cleaning ladies nor the clerk at the MIA tourist trash seller spoke any English. In both Los Angeles and the upscale part of Atlanta (Buckhead), the food is wonderful, and all good restaurants are busy feeding hungry and solvent throngs. Dinner at Spago's in L.A. was splendid (but it's no longer a-glitter with stars), and the huge family celebration at a downtown hotel had eight courses of Korean, Thai and Japanese delicacies– great!

Both Los Angeles and Atlanta are being strangled by traffic. In the upscale districts frequented by this intrepid column, giant Lexus SUVs were most popular, but large BMWs, Land Rovers, Mercedes, and Cadillac EnormaVans also populate the Valet Parking lots. The trouble is, though, the roads are absolutely clogged, except at 3:30 a.m. on the way to the airport. In both cities, the air is heavily laden with petroleum by-products. Of course, if you take the 3:30 taxi to the Atlanta airport, so as to be there two hours ahead of flight time as instructed, the American desks don't open until 4:15, and then the baggage inspectors don't open until 5:00 a.m. So you stand, wait, and reflect on how clearly you are hated by the airline. Blink!

Both in California and Georgia, it is a pleasure to deal with stores and clerks. Everybody is polite and helpful, and cheerful. And what's more – O! wonder to a resident of Anguilla – things are not "Finish", nor is the buyer treated as an enemy trying to pillage the shelves of the merchant. Bookstores abound, as do huge emporiums selling computer stuff, clothes, whatever. The hotel in Hollywood charges three dollars (that's US$!) to wash a pair of sport socks. Our shrewd Steward thereupon bought a pack of six pair in a drugstore for $5.95, saving $2 per pair. In Atlanta, the less-fancy hotel only charged $2 a pair to wash, or only twice what they cost. We are not sure what this teaches about current American values.

All restaurants and malls have installed sound-reflective ceilings and walls, so as to give the illusion of being crowded and popular. This means all conversations are to be screamed. Also, perhaps you have noticed, big cities are noisier than Anguilla. Maybe because there are more people there? Of course, Anguilla holds its own when it comes to playing car radios at peak level. And by the way, Los Angeles drivers, perhaps wary of road rage, are quite polite, and seem skillful. In Anguilla, some drivers are polite, too. It's so good to get home.

Next time: Plutocracy [OO #597]

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