0600 - Landmark

A Landmark day, for several reasons. First, this is OO column number six hundred. Second, a visit from the OO’s engineering son has resulted in the discovery of the long suspected but never before discovered basic Anguilla Time Unit, or ATU. The OO had pointed out to son that before investing in The Objective Observatory the then and current Minister of Roads and such had assured him the road from Shoal Bay to the Sea Rocks would be paved at once. Now, it is 13 years or so later, and by golly, the road is half paved, and after the Water Department is finished digging up the other half that was fully prepared so the Water Dep’t could dig it up again, well, that road will be fully paved. Then, there was discussion of the enormous house always being built but never finished next to the Observatory. The engineering son then had a flash of insight: things happen in Anguilla in Anguilla Time Units, or ATU.

The paving of roads is measured by the major ATU unit, which is about 13 years. The airport, recently re-runway-ed so that American Air can refuse to serve it, also took one major ATU. There are smaller subdivisions of the ATU. For example, when a store is out of an item and the customer is told “it in the Customs”, the delay will be between three and four weeks. Minor home repairs take an intermediate ATU of about eight months. We believe the exact numbers are fixed, and our Technical Staff is researching their precise length, but the units do not have any simple relationship to the usual year, month or week. After all, the U.S. Dollar is 2.6882 EC Dollars, and has been for at least a major ATU. And by the way, the same Ministers have been in office for an ATU.

The OO, aided by the Loyal Staff, has been at it for an ATU and we are now putting to bed the CD containing all 600 OO columns. The Introduction is being written, and we have the frontispiece drawing by famed local artist Jo-Anne Mason. The CD will contain all columns in WordPerfect format and also in Adobe Portable Document Format (.pdf). What we don’t have yet is an Index, and that has caused much dispute. The Chief Proofreader insists on an Index. But, some Staff question what good it would do to look up “Goats” in the Index. There was one well-received column proposing the production of many goat products, but the Anguillian Goat is omnipresent, on the roads and on the Post Office lawn. The chicken population is expanding faster, and is also seen on the P.O. lawn, and there is one offending wild rooster next door to the Observatory with his harem. But, what good would it do the Reader to look up Goat or Chicken in the Index?

Similarly, the entire Staff is more than proud of its political predictions. Our view of the impending Iraq invasion was prescient and correct. Our view of the Rumsfeld-Cheney-Bush Iraq botch was also exact. What we have said about Tom DeLay and other Congressional scoundrels is worthy of chiseling into stone (chiseling being appropriate). We refuse the label of either ‘Liberal” or “Conservative”. they are all spendthrifts, wastrels, and largely un-admirable. Do you need an Index for that?

Faithful and Belovéd Readers who must have this giant OO Collection are urged to e-mail the OO at once. We’ve asked before, but we need a current list. If demand is modest, the CD will be free. If demand is huge, they’ll be sold at cost plus shipping, and maybe sent out for reproduction. Be sure to say if you want multiples. They may be priceless! We’re beginning the next ATU!

Next time: Tolerance [OO #601]

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