0706 - Complexification

Life, even life on Anguilla, grows inexorably more complex. As the principal computer at The Objective Observatory aged, it was time for a fancy new one, with more memory, more storage, more everything. That's good, but what isn't good is that the new box comes with the new Microsoft Windows system, called "Vista". OK, OK, a new system, no use moaning for the good old Etruscan days, the Staff here has to learn how to use it. So, cleverly, a how-to book is ordered from Amazon.com. "Windows Vista Secrets" by Livingston and Thurrott duly arrives. It is large format, and runs 647 pages. List, $39.99, but less at good ol' Amazon. Well, this one tells us more than we want to know about making movies (we don't do that), but it's hard to know how to set up files and such. True, there's an appendix showing all sorts of symbols (spider, anybody?), but that's not what we need as innocents. OK, back to Amazon and look at the long list of Vista books. There is of course "Windows Vista for Dummies" but our Staff rule is not to buy any books calling us "Dummies" – we don't take no lip from publishers. So, we order "Windows Vista In A Nutshell" by one Preston Gralla. This is a rather fat nutshell, running 732 pages with five appendices. Again alas, it has all sorts of topics, but the index is largely useless. Pause while we go back to Amazon. Now here's a title: "Windows Vista Ultimate Bible" (Durham), list $34.99, Amazon sells for $23.09. Ordered. A thought strikes – pause while we check out our copy of the King James Bible. It's 987 pages (Old Testament) and 285 more (New Testament). Huge Concordance. Checked for "Windows Vista". No entry.

All this brings us to reflect on the abuse of the serious computer user by Microsoft. Yes, we know that science progresses, and no doubt they need to upgrade their system from time to time. But, please, Bill Gates, have some sympathy for the user who simply needs to write, send and receive e-mails, browse the web, and keep stuff filed. We are not Michael Moore and do not want to make movies. Remember the old dial phones? These sturdy black objects had one dial and one handset. You lifted, dialed, and it worked. That's the right way! We do not need a monstrously complex system ready to design a shopping mall (well, maybe a new foreign policy). We want something simple that works. Simple. Works. Got that?

Part of the problem is that the writers of "Help" instructions for computers do not write English, and use terms that are not defined as they are used. This is like reading Swahili. It is no help at all. Our modest suggestions, not patented, comprise three steps. First, test all programs with innocents before release. Try your how-to sex book on virgins first, and note what has confused them. Second, have a reasonably intelligent set of non-experts read the instructions and listen to what they say about clarity. Third, most important, design programs so that they have the minimum complexity at the outset. Do NOT activate every charming gimmick. Start in rotary dial phone mode. Let those who design space stations add what they want. Start simple! We are available to consult.

Enough about Vista. Did you watch the new format Democratic so-called "debate" with questions submitted by Youtube users? It was fun, though needs work. We are sorry, voters, but there are some major public problems that cannot be discussed fully in 30 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit, not of sound public policy. And then, there are too many people up there – yes, everyone has the right to run for office, but really, we don't need the over-aging Senator Gravel whining away. He added nothing. Our Senior Counsel thinks the questions can come from viewers, but then experienced cross-examiners should take over to make the candidates answer the question, not babble talking points.

Next time: Eccentric [OO #707]

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