0711 - IdesofSept

The Ides of September, and many weighty events, are upon us. School terms are opening, Senators are being caught in Men's Rooms, the Anguilla season is definitely over – though the weather is splendid for hurricane season – and the OO's desk is cluttered to an extreme. So, we begin by clearing away in preparation for fall politics, reports on the Middle East fiasco, or fiascoes, and the distastefully early beginning of the U.S. Primaries. Warm up with this quiz, Readers:

The U.S. National Intelligence Estimate says: "_____'s political leaders are unable to govern effectively." The blank refers to;

(a) The highly incompetent Mayor of New Orleans and the State officials of Louisiana, working with the equally inept Federal supposed saviors.

(b) Iraq.

(c) The U.S. Congress and the Pres.

(d) All of the above.

Right, Readers. Now, on to the mid-month reports of what is amusingly called "progress" in Iraq. Readers, Readers, you know and we know there is no such. There's no water, no electricity, no jobs, and the usual consequence of stepping out to the market for shopping is getting blown up by one or another gang of religious crazies. Our Staff view is that all this is regrettable, as was Saddam, and as are numerous Middle East and African political disasters. We yield to no one in our contempt for Saddam, but you have to admit that almost everybody in Iraq was better off while he was in charge (and castrated by the first Iraq War). So, what to do?

Well, the answer we have developed is cleverly hidden in the quiz at the beginning of this rant. As you know, both U.S. parties want to get out of the mess, but neither seems to have any plan, unless you call "Stay the course" a plan [what "course"?]. One supposed answer was to adopt the bipartisan report on Iraq, which was ignored. Of course it was ignored – that's what happens to bipartisan reports. Our scheme is more radical. It is to take the Mayor of New Orleans, who didn't know enough to put portable potties in the appointed flood refuge, add the Louisiana State officials, add FEMA, and instead of throwing away the invaluable services of Rumsfeld and his crew, send them all to Iraq in a permanent mission headed by Cheney, lock them in the Green zone, and let them mess around. They will be funded by what is often called a "Sinking Fund",which will grow smaller every month. The result will be no messier than what we have now, but at least the Congress and the super-stubborn Pres won't have anything to squabble over. The illiterate Gonzalez can be press officer. If that doesn't scare the Iraqis, nothing will. It's better than the failed attempt to impose a heterarchy. [Look it up – means government by an alien.]

Now about the rush of all the States to be the first to hold primaries. Is it not clear that the two parties had better take some action or they will be replaced by a national lottery? Is it not equally clear that if this was happening in Iraq, all would agree that the "benchmark" had not been met, and the parties were distinctly inept? Well, let's show some organization here. Lock everybody political in a room with nothing to eat but raw broccoli, and don't let them out without a plan. If this doesn't work, at least they'll all be locked in the room.

Meanwhile, there has been some TV discussion about just how much the voters should know about the medical details of candidates. We take no position, for once, but do wish to insist on an IQ test for all seeking office. No pass, no place on the ballot. Can't hurt. That's our sermuncle for the day.

Next time: MoralTruth [OO #712]

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